porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
