You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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