I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
