are you still at the devil's house?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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