oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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