North Korea, Best Korea!
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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