i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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