So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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