i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
