I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
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