your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
When are your genitals available?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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