Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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