Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
