i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Damn victory sex feels great
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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