I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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