now i know why i became what i already was.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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