what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
