That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
