dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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