remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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