lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
