so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just gift wrapped bread.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
