Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
