just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Houston, we have a blender
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
