Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
