I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
is that a dick in a sweater?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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