What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
