New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
