at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
