Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
