just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
