Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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