evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize