It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
