I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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