so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
