We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
