I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
