ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
