I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
we have officially lost it.
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
