Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
