He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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