It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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