I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
