I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
