Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
