smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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