i was born a porn star she said
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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