I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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