9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
