I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
