He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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