shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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